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Since y'all read the last post.&nbsp;I'm going to give you guys a pop quiz on what topics I have brought up in the last few posts.&nbsp;You're starting to get a real bird's eye view of how I see thingsWhich leaves me to something pretty special.Father's Day.&nbsp;Not because I'm more than likely going to have to cook, or not because I'm expecting any gifts. To some, the position I'm in and the relationship I have with my daughter is a luxury and I do not take that for granted one bit.&nbsp;What makes the day even more special for me is that every few years, my daughters birthday lands on fathers day!! Dude seriously, how much more lucky can I get?If you can't tell by now, I love being a dad. It's what I'm built for. I'm a family man. So to be blessed enough to be called "papi" is just insane to me. As she continues to get older, and I'm able to watch her grow day in and day out. I still see the baby with the big ass bow that was three times her size.&nbsp;I understand and appreciate that everyones situation is different, and to a certain extent I respect it. I can also target and talk shit about those dads who don't want to be involved, or hate their kids mother more than they are able to be able to take pride in being a good dad.&nbsp;We make it more difficult than it needs to be. This isn't me complaining about the relationship with my old man, 'cause dude he worked his ass off to provide and at this point in my life, being a child of an immigrant I can't begin to explain how proud I am of him and all he sacrificed for. He's sick now, but for all he's done for me. I thank you, popsTo the other fathers I know, Myles, Wonk, Pumpkin, Mickey&nbsp;Y'all are doing it.&nbsp;It doesn't matter the situation you're in. Take pride in being a dad who is there, and a father who is involved and showing their kids that you are their biggest support in life.&nbsp;Now, here comes the mushy part.&nbsp;To baby girl,&nbsp;I can't begin to explain to you how I feel about you. One, your birthday is around the corner, but two. Despite all these obstacles that life has thrown your way, you continuously show up and you kick ass. I wish that one day, I am half the person you are and to say I'm proud of you is an understatement.&nbsp;At 7 years old, you carry the strength I can dream of. Like I've told you a million times, if I can do it for you I will. I will try and try and try until I know that it's my last day on earth that you are better than me in every aspect of life.&nbsp;You are my best friend AND the best travel buddy.&nbsp;Baby girl,&nbsp;I love you and I dedicate this to you.I love you.&nbsp;

The Best Kind of Lucky

Returning from that last post.I left you guys with an important piece."This isn't advice on how to manage co-parenting, that is whole other obstacle within itself and definitely for another day."Coming into this new life of having a child, there's a lot of emotions that come with you becoming a parent. When you go so long with one person, you don't ever think that you'll be going through life in completely different paths.&nbsp;Yes, you do have a different perspective on life as a parent — it's something you grow into together. But if you're not on the same page, let alone the same book.This shit gets complicatedEventually, after so many years of that.. you end up where I'm at.&nbsp;You've gone through the emotions, the apps, the adjusting, all of it. Now you're here..Somewhere you thought you'd never be at, but you have to accept it and do your best as a father to provide and move forward in life.&nbsp;As easy as it is to sit here and complain and mope and be depressed, or be spiteful and hate my ex-wife. Within everything in me, I can't. It's not because I haven't tried. It's because all that animosity doesn't do anyone good, and like I previously mentioned in that same post "I love my daughter, more than I love her mother.&nbsp;What does that mean? It means, that I am willing to do everything I can to show my daughter that my love for her comes before anything else.This isn't to say that I don't have love for her mother, in all honesty I do. How am I supposed to hate the person who I was with my entire adult life or don't even go that far. Who gave me my daughter.&nbsp;I say all that to tell you this. Your love for your children should outshine your feelings towards their parent. Once you have this foundation set, co-parenting becomes easier. Understandably, there will be nuances and minor shit you have to deal with and eventually adjust to, and of course she absolutely pisses me off but to let my emotions speak for me is something she doesn't deserve anymore. My job now is to do best by my daughter because despite how I may feel, she needs the relationship with her mom and I am nobody to push against that.&nbsp;I wish her well.&nbsp;

I Wish Her Well

If you've been following along for this long..thank you.I talk a lot of nonsense, but as I've mentioned previously this unknowingly has become a bit therapeutic.&nbsp;Now. Let's get into the meat and bones of everything, this post might sound like I'm hating, but after the Kendrick vs Drake beef. I realized I am not hating to my full potential.&nbsp;I seriously crack myself up sometimes as I'm writing these.In all seriousness, I wanted to drop a disclaimer before I go any further. This post isn't to throw shade or blame on anybody.I recently mentioned, on one of the last posts "Beyond the Punchline: Who Are You When the Laugh Track Stops?" If you haven't had a chance to read it, check it out. I was able to give some insight on my side of dating life.But as we go on this journey, it's only fair to give the otherside some perspective.&nbsp;The most difficult part for me was having to accept the fact that my daughters mother was legit moving on and going about her way. Foolishly, or maybe just not being able to accept reality. There was always a piece of me that held on to the hope that things were going to work out.&nbsp;It's not the "what happened" with everything, it was how shit happened and how it was handled by the other parties involved. Sure, call it bitterness, hating or anything you want BUT I am going to very clear here. I am in no capacity claiming to be a victim.So imagine having to cope with all this, trying to be a father, trying to work, trying to balance school and then..<img id="ttitawqzegmq099zl4" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1dAZl2v9X7pkUdPvQgt8HxZXat5yYo5Ph02ern01m4nMjleyKG3AebS1TGiuIbZP.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: 45% 30%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="45%" data-positiony="30%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1dAZl2v9X7pkUdPvQgt8HxZXat5yYo5Ph02ern01m4nMjleyKG3AebS1TGiuIbZP.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: 45% 30%;">There's a boyfriend.&nbsp;How this came about is not something I'm going to get into 'cause then I'll really be talking shit. But eventually I met the dude, and again I'm going to be very frank.There is zero competition.&nbsp;Again, I've had to go to some pretty dark places to get to this point and understanding, but I know I'm a great father.Keep this in mind, as your life goes on. Your ex-spouse has to do the same, but don't take this part for granted, and it's probably the most important thing that I've come to accept is that I love my daughter more than my ex-wife. All the petty shit, push that shit aside and be the great father you are, and if you don't think you are, now is your opportunity to do so.&nbsp;This isn't advice on how to manage co-parenting, that is whole other obstacle within itself and definitely for another day.Take pride in knowing you're a great father, and hold yourself to a higher standard because your kids do.

There Is Zero Competition

So my therapist read my last post and called the cops on me..&nbsp;I'm just kidding..But, going into this week and coming back from a short road-trip, I had to talk about something that some might find useful.After everything settles, you're sort of going through the motions, and trust me I'm aware at this point a lot of dudes are struggling to process, and faith might not be something you are currently looking for at the moment.I can't speak on everyone's journey, but what I can speak on is what I did and used to get myself out of the funk.&nbsp;Although completely opposite, for me - cooking and music are two things that I hold to a very high standard. For cooking, I can go hard on what it does for me but maybe I'll leave that for another time and maybe drop a whole other post or teach someone how to cook.&nbsp;Music for me has always been something special, thanks to sheer luck and some divine intervention I was able to live out some dreams that I would have never imagined. From DJing a major festival, to working with promotional teams and artist management, to any and everything in between.&nbsp;It might be a real shocker for some, but for most, they are well aware of the chokehold that electronic music has on me. Yes, I get it. I'm washed, but I try to stay somewhat relevant. Obviously, Daft Punk is the GOAT. Go argue with a tree if you disagree.&nbsp;I can sit here and start dropping artists across multiple genres and sound like a snob, but based on what I was going through there was maybe a good 2-3 albums that I was fully committed to and had on a constant loop. No they were not all electronic songs, maybe some influence but I can absolutely appreciate a good groove, it doesn't matter what genre that falls under.&nbsp;Here are a few albums, and tracks that helped me.&nbsp;Camelphat - Dark Matter<img id="b10avm53efmpx8i5hv" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/182wiygup4UUTQ7YNJqRDIkBR5QjGDWB1uDafaNMBkoIdaVBb2goDQlwxCtoUdYQ.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 40%;" data-corners="medium" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="40%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/182wiygup4UUTQ7YNJqRDIkBR5QjGDWB1uDafaNMBkoIdaVBb2goDQlwxCtoUdYQ.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 40%;">Just an FYI, the album title and how I felt had no correlation but the writing and the production were just phenomenal. Not that I had any thoughts of harming myself or anything more serious, but you get to a place where there is no light at the end of the tunnel and having music that you have an appreciation for can be that pack of matches you forgot you had in your back pocket.To me, this song on the album checks every box.&nbsp;<iframe id="oc8015xlvmpx9s7jp" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sSJ-jfKaE4g" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSJ-jfKaE4g&amp;start_radio=1" data-corners="medium" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sSJ-jfKaE4g" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe>Not every single song can be at 125-128 BPM, but to find an album like this, you're going to need some sort of a pick me up, and at this point in time I was so depressed this album covered everything.Harry Styles - Harry's House<img id="r2yad1rdompxaxcv0" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1e8QyqiL1x2RxGeLrKSykK5oXz8wmgEHlWNuyVoeOwgsc4jLFFZlEyUqvtL6Vsjq.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1e8QyqiL1x2RxGeLrKSykK5oXz8wmgEHlWNuyVoeOwgsc4jLFFZlEyUqvtL6Vsjq.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;">Do I need to do any explaining with this song? Don't judge me this song is the shit.<iframe id="ahyu9lyc3qmpxax6mu" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ls6XtAmqERc" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6XtAmqERc&amp;list=PLxA687tYuMWgWbfUsntXDsn5HgOz90ka-&amp;index=2" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ls6XtAmqERc" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe>As much as I love this song, this performance in particular makes me want to run through a wall. I love me some Foo Fighters&nbsp;<iframe id="cgw4kt7qarmpxb8wbc" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Oc6rHNLa43E" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc6rHNLa43E&amp;list=RDOc6rHNLa43E&amp;start_radio=1" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Oc6rHNLa43E" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe>I'm aware this music might not be your style, or whatever the case is. Music is and will be a tool that can help you find yourself again.&nbsp;Use it.&nbsp;

Pack of Matches

&nbsp;As these rants continue, if you feel like these posts have helped you in any capacity or if you think they should give a little more insight, leave some feedback. I'm here to learn and grow with you guys. Please know that it's hard to offend me, so do your worst.&nbsp;The good thing about taking so long to get shit done is that I have a bunch of ideas stored in my Rolodex.&nbsp;Anyways, as I try to navigate life, eventually we have to face the ugly thing we call - dating. It's fucking weird, I haven't dated since I was 20 and having to date as a full-time dad is so lame. I remember laughing at those old Farmers Only and e-Harmony commercials that used to come on and thinking who are these nerds that actually that desperate to fall for this shit.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-vb4digfnhqmpokxv92"><iframe id="vb4digfnhqmpokxv92" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JonFu0AWa50" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/JonFu0AWa50" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JonFu0AWa50" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure>Now, here we are 20 years later - and who's the goose?&nbsp;<img id="26aqf1g53umpokz5y2" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2aCOsO8AFdftxnV3uvsu4UTIE4GCIlLudlEJ5PkzswR8RhL4H2N21q30Yl6oosSI.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 0% 35%;" data-corners="medium" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="0%" data-positiony="35%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2aCOsO8AFdftxnV3uvsu4UTIE4GCIlLudlEJ5PkzswR8RhL4H2N21q30Yl6oosSI.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 0% 35%;">Tinder, Hinge, Bumble..I'm not going to go into how much I think they're a bunch of crooks putting everything behind a paywall, but I digress. Aside from all this nonsense, the issue that I have found with dating and the struggle that I find myself in currently, is that I want to speak to that person frequently,&nbsp; my schedule is awful but I'm willing to lose a few minutes here and there or go to sleep a little bit later if it means I get to speak to you. That's cool and all, but my biggest thing is that I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody, I understand that I have to respect that people are busy, and are also in the middle of managing their lives, not even including the fact if they're parents that just throws a wrench in everything.&nbsp;So now, I ask you guys. What works for you? I'm not one to whore around and just sleep with whoever, learning from my mistakes, I'm trying to take a very surgical approach on who I want to bring into my life. But here's the kicker, I nor does the person who I'm interested have time to waste, so we circle back to, how the fuck do you approach this? And to add the cherry on top of this already complicated pile of shit, let's get someone who my daughter is going to be comfortable and feel safe around.&nbsp;At this point, and it's way easier said than done but I'm trying to rely on my faith just to kind of guide me. It'll happen when it needs to and trying to force feed it isn't going to accomplish anything. But it's difficult, or maybe I'm just overthinking it and making it more complicated than it needs to be.&nbsp;Also also, disregard that I forget shit. There's no script or bullet points to these posts so know that I am freestyling along the way and I write as it comes to me. Sometimes, it can be a therapeutic 'cause as I'm writing, I find myself having an AHA moment, I think my issue could just be the fear of rejection is lingering and I've never gotten over that.&nbsp;I guess I'll leave that for my next call with my therapists.&nbsp;

Who's The Goose?

Trying to figure out how to start this post is tough. It's been some time since I recently shared with you guys, and though I'm trying to not use this as an excuse but life does life shit some times.&nbsp;Just to recap - I've gone over where I'm at in my life post-divorce, and being able to build a foundation through friends and family, if they're there. The last couple of weeks, I've had the idea of talking about trying to find balance between life, work and everything in between, but after these last couple of days, and having some discussions with my therapist I feel like we can table that idea for another time.&nbsp;Before I begin to rant, a special shoutout goes to my therapist. She's been great in helping me navigate and make sense of shit that I can't. I'm going to gatekeep hard, 'cause she's the shit.&nbsp;Anyways, I obviously won't dive too deep into our conversation but one conclusion we came down to is this - I rely heavily on my humor, as dark and offensive it can be sometimes, which is great in certain situations. But, as I'm kind of navigating some new things right now, my therapist came with the Falcon Punch straight to the nuts and got me good. Where I'm at now, and where I'm trying to position myself, I can't use humor as a crutch to guide me to where I need to get to.&nbsp;She flat out asked me, what are my attributes that I can present outside of my humor - and to be honest, as a goofy guy, I had no answer. As quick-witted as I can be sometimes I had jack shit. A huge part of me hates talking about myself because it feels like I'm bragging, and I mentioned this, I love being a behind the scenes kind of guy, I don't like the attention. Maybe that's the middle child syndrome kicking in, but I like not being the center of attention. I say all this because it truly was difficult for me to think past my humor and solely identify how I can apply my other attributes outside of my humor.&nbsp;So you might probably be like what the fuck is he talking about? I'm saying, if you're in a position to, get a third party perspective and try and find what makes you - you.&nbsp;In my therapists word, not mine, I'm/ I:<ul><li>Persevere</li><li>Faithful/ Hopeful</li><li>Mature</li><li>Gracefully accepts and rise to challenges&nbsp;</li><li>Vulnerable&nbsp;</li></ul>Granted, I did mention that although she sees these attributes that I didn't necessarily,&nbsp; I felt that all of these were circumstantial&nbsp; because of the things that I experienced emotionally. A good part of me still feels that I didn't choose any of these out of the goodness of my heart, but I chose to not live a miserable life and the motiviation to be better for me and my daughter is what brought these out of me.&nbsp;Regardless of how you come to find this, it's important. Once you identify what they are, that can be used going forward. Not solely for relationship purposes, but it can be applied to so many things in life, faith, work,etc. I think this is how you build a solid foundation within yourself, I might be wrong, actually I'm pretty sure I'm wrong but this is what has helped me.&nbsp;Again, and I'll finish off with this. We are not license therapists. I am only trying to give support and give a better understanding of how you can use my experience to help navigate this. You might not agree with everything, and that's fine but use what you can. If it works, great, if it doesn't it hopefully gets you thinking outside of your everyday thought process.&nbsp;Peace dudes,&nbsp;Andres&nbsp;

Beyond the Punchline: Who Are You When the Laugh Track Stops?

Last November