Building a Support Group

I've heard this saying before in spanish, but I'll do my best to get this in English, but essentially it goes "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future," Or for the Joey Diaz fan, "you don't need 20 friends, all just need is 3 bad motherf*ckers and you can take over a country"

This has been the most crucial part of my journey, and by the grace of God I was blessed with some killas.  

I know for a fact once they read this, they're going to give me shit about not wanting any credit because that's what friends do. But what these two dingbats did for me, there's no way I can express how truly grateful or even repay what they've done for me. Not emotionally, not anything but be there when I was down at my worst. 

Let's start with Myles, we have been friends going on what feels like 50 years. Friends since 15, we have been through EVERY major life event together. Break-ups, child birth, marriage, even get trashed one Halloween (follow the podcast for more crazy stories like that) and now this chapter of my life. 

The day came where I had to break the news to everybody that this was the situation in my life now, and I'll never forget driving Southbound on I-75 and getting off the exit. I call him absolutely bawling, an uncontrollable sob, that as  I'm trying to speak, I'm gasping for breath trying to make a full sentence, he was like "dude, what the f*ck is going on?" He thought somebody was dead, in that, all I was able to get out was "we're getting a divorce." He didn't even hesitate, and all he told me "give me 45 minutes." And true to his word, within the hour, he was knocking at my door. 

Now on to Wonki, again same thing - friends since about Junior year of high school, when this asshole came to school with an unfinished turbo in his 2008 Civic Si and breaking his brothers bed when visting his mom's crib - sorry Cabezas family.

Similar story to Myles, only life took him out of town for a couple of years, and I wouldn't necessarily say we fell off, but as close as we were, we went off to do our own thing for some time. He called me one day, close to around the time I had told Myles and was excited that his firm was hiring and he wanted me to apply. I unfortunately had to break the news to him and let him know that, this is the situation and again, didn't hesitate one single bit. All I remember him saying was "f*ck, I'm tied up now but tomorrow let's go out for dinner" at Miami's most luxurious establishment - Flanigan's - (shameless plug).

Now I go on to tell you these stories because without any sort of thought, they were there and just let me talk. No rush to judgement, no opinions, no expectations, just let me go through it. Grieve how I needed to grieve, and slowly this started to build and fortify our bond. For a long time, I felt guilty even coming to them for help. I'm not that much of an asshole - but I had to be realistic, they have their families, and having toddlers to then having to now deal with this shit, it was unfair to me to ask them for anything from them. 

But the fact that they said "nah, f*ck that" and were just there showed me everything I needed to know. Just because we're not blood, doesn't mean that we're not family. They have stood by me and supported me on the days where I didn't have it within my self to push forward. Now I look forward to our group chat just being full of shenanigans and being able to be myself. 

I know it seems like I'm rambling, but had you laughed, or did that think where you type LOL but just snort at your phone, the only thing that I ask that you  take from this is to understand that, being able to navigate this with true friends on your side, is a blessing and is hard to come by. Because of this foundation that has been set, I am now Tio Feo (Ugly Uncle for the non-Spanish speakers) and Titi Way (Titi Dre) and I am forever indebted into these assholes.

So this is dedicated to you, Wonki & Myles. 

Thank you,